The Fellowship of the Thesis

The Fellowship of the Thesis


My world has changed. I feel it in my wallet. I smell it in my food. Much that once was… …is lost. For none now in grad school who remember it. Social life became legend. Human interactions became myth. And some things that should not have been forgotten… were lost. I will do it. I will write my thesis. Though… I do not know the way. One does not simply write a paper and get it published. The conferences are guarded by more than just professors. There’s an evil there that does not sleep. And the reviewers are ever watchful. Your evaluation is insufficient. Your theorems are unconvincing. My adviser did this work in ’67. Rejected! Rejected! Rejected! You have my keyboard. And you have my coffee maker. And my beer. So it begins. You are not ready. You must turn back. No You shall not… pass. I might have made a mistake entering grad school. There is still hope. All you have to decide is what to write in the time that is given to you. Even the smallest graph can change the course of your thesis. Become who you were born to be. This is your test. We come to it at last. Sons and daughters of academia! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of students fails. When we forsake our friends, and break all bonds with our professors. But this is not this day. An hour of hard work and shattered dreams… When the age of scholars comes crashing down. But this is not this day. This day we research! By all that you hold dear on this good field… I bid you stand, students of the sciences! Every path you have trod, through papers, through data, has led to this road. Write now! Write to ruin… …and your thesis’ ending! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! Write! It’s done. Yes, Dr. Frodo. It’s over now.

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