MR. PLATINUM – SOCIETY OF VIRTUE


Hello, citizens of Vera… Scoopa… Chia, or
however you pronounce that… I came in my brand new suit, laced with gold and new functions like machine gun, flamethrower, grenade launcher and lasers that come
out of my feet and ears, to help you! That’s cool, but, the real villain we’re
facing here is, actually… hunger… Oh, I get it, okay… Well, is there something you can do? Uh, maybe, yeah, I did…is there anyone
stealing your food? I… I can beat him up… No… I don’t think so… it’s more of an
economic issue. Our coal plant closed down two months ago and now one third of the city is unemployed Right… yeah… okay So, that’s complicated… I kind of just
came prepared to beat someone up, to be honest I’m actually embarrassed that I
can’t be much help with that… I can see you put a lot of money into that Yeah, like four to five billion… It’s a lot. I can imagine, that’s twice our national
GDP I see… huh…. You think maybe I can beat up the factory owner that fired everybody I’m not sure that’ll solve much He went bankrupt and is selling his home
furniture to buy food Well, is there anyone here I can beat up? Look, if you hook me up with some bread, we can work something out If you know what I mean… Hmmm… that doesn’t really work for me I really have to save you, you know? It’s gonna look pretty bad for me if I leave and don’t take care of that Because of the new suit, right? Yeah, it was like five to six billion, Yeah, really expensive… but, listen, what if you brought us some food, you think..? Oh, sure, yeah…can do… I saw you have an orchard about three miles from here So, let me see… if I spend a couple of liters of rocket fuel to get there which should be about… eight
thousand dollars, PLUS $9.000 for the return, considering the extra weight of
the apples, plus a thousand dollars of energy that my armor uses to keep me
alive in here…I think I can bring you back about… gosh…twelve…thirteen apples for you If you find me a basket, I think I can
bring you back even more! Right, is there any other way, like more food? Look, I don’t want to be a drag but… I’m trying to help you out here I know, I know, I’m really sorry. I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but you think you could use our services? You don’t need extra energy for your suit? Hmm no, with this new update I was
able to change all the energy from coal factories to 100% clean energy using two
marbles an old wire I’m even launching a new line of cell phones with that technology Nice, it’s just that this energy thing is kind of what we used to do here Uh it is, isn’t it? Look, I was thinking that maybe I could use your labor Installing these batteries on cellphones is a quite delicate and dangerous job How much did you use to make here at the coal plant? 40 cents an hour, but, now that you’re
helping us, maybe we could raise it to 50? Did I mention I spent like seven or
eight billion in this suit just so I could break someone’s face today

Leave a Response

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *