Modern Swayamwaram | VIVA

Modern Swayamwaram | VIVA


*Countryside drum roll* Here by we announce the Swayamvara of Ms.Sita Devi, the ‘daater’ of Shri Shri Shri Janaka Maharaju alias Shri-cube JK.. *Drum roll* Whoever turns up at the Swayamvara Lifts up the Shiva’s bow Will tie up a knot to Sita Devi…ahoo.. Those attending the Swayamwara must bring Two Passport size photos… Your Aadhar card… Your resume… by order – JK alias Janaka Maharaju Otherwise Not allowedahooo……. *Crowd Murmuring something about nothing* Bro, where did you get your Aadhar card? You look exactly like ‘you’! This is fake bro, thats why it’s clear… Oh! I see Once show me your card… One second! Expected Bro!! Brother, I ‘bought’ the Aadhar card but forgot to bring king-port size photos. Do you know any Photo studios near by? Should we bring photos too!? Brother, What is your kingdom name? . I have never seen you! Mahishmati Kingdom bro Did Katappa retire at least now? No no no, he is still on duty, 24/7 Hey! You – Your Father – 4 citizens!! And you declared that a kingdom… Who allowed you to this Swayamwara? Ey you! Send respect and recieve respect. That’s give and take respect, you Tumbdi!! Brother You loose life, no phroblem. But you lose crown, big phroblem. You came from Lanka right, uncle? Yes, grandpa! Seems it took you three days to come uncl.. .. Sir, why? My passport got expired. I was irritated in the Indian Immigration. It took three days to talk to local MP and ‘Settle’ down the issue. So sad!! It’s been a long journey. It better be good. Bro, where did you hide your demonised notes? Hey… I know what you did there! Yes!! Sir, Please look after my crown, I will be right back. Ah! Do I look like a stooge? Oh! There is queue for this too!! Bad maintenance bro!! This bathroom must be bigger than your kingdom! Go Tongue your mind! Go. Bunk off! What the? Sir, How is peeing related to crown? What does this mean sir? I understood now sir. Bloody mosquitoes!! Sir, Did you see my crown here? No Don’t you have any responsibility? See I am already f****d up. Please leave me alone. Sir My twin diamond studded crown, I could not find it. Did you see it? I can’t saw! Dumbo, you are a 5th grade drop out right? Every word of you proves it!! What the heck! They said free buffet And we have not got even the welcome drinks!! They took the entry fee too!! Yeah, Including GST MY CROWNNNNN….. Who is this silly fellow? Yeah, shouting like a bufallo. Sir Where is my crown? Sir, what is this hutch dog up to? Drinks.. Drinks.. Cool drinks… Thousand rupees sir *Smile of smiles* Drinks.. cool drinks.. Excuse me. Can you please change my seat? Because he is always abusing me in alien language!! I am sorry, but the Sabha is full. Its been long, Why hasn’t Sita come yet bro? Where is Sita? Where is my crown? This is not the question bro. Where is
Janaka? If he is here, Sita would obviously be with him Yeah, right. JK.. JK.. JK JK…Jk…Jk… Sir, where is my Crown? *Mother of Announcement* Yours is theirs! Theirs is yours! Sir, mine is also theirs? In a few moments Shri Shri Shri Sri sri sri… sri sri Sri.. Sri.. Janaka Maharaju Famously known as S-cube JK Raju Will arrive in 1st platform *Crowd murmuring about 18% GST* *Crowd murmuring about 5% GST* (Inner voice) How dare they do not stand up for me?! National Anthem please. *Ego Satisfied* Ah, No formalities, please be seated. Jai Hind! Firstly.. My crown.. You freaking piece of king… Sit silently Kings from farthest places… I welcome me!! Looks like he is your senior! Sir, Large man sir. Send respect. Hope all you have enjoyed the buffet. Buffet?! Whoever lifts that bow, gets to marry my daughter Sita! Sita!! *1950’s cinematic heart break* Forget this, if you know any swayamwaras, keep me posted! Sure bro. I’ll add to the Swayamwara group right away. Sir, I expected Sita to be younger!! Everyone imagined the same you king kong!! Sir Could you please switch on the hotspot, I have to book the return ticket. I know, Everyone is eager to be the first one to lift Solution is here – Lucky Dip! Let’s see who is the first lucky contestant *Mother of Prayers* Subramanya Sathavahana.. Subramanya? Hey Subbu!! Anyways this is going to be heavy. I’ll just pretend! (Crowd cheering) Yayyy.. He lifted it!!. No no no no.. Aah.. I can not lift this. I tried my level best bro! Next *Prayer of prayers* Deepak Devaraya. Unlucky fellow What are you waiting for? Brother, at least touch and act Oops. Sorry. Darling Dosa? Why is this name weird? Because the person is even more weirder, your highness He will surely get everyone caught!! Raghava Ikshavaku Crap!! Luck of the best bro! You scare crow! Just once more. Suhasa Sangamithra. Pallava Suri Oscar is born after he is born! Sainatha Chola Hashmi Hamsavahana Raja! Shanthanu Sunny Bhai Where is this hutch puppy? Shantanu Bhai? Who are you? Its me, Shanthanu Bow is over-there But my crown could be here… Where is this?! Shoo..shoo.. Last but not least. Raavana! Where is my bloody crown! Where did he hide the suitcase? Is this yours? No no no no no no…I did not lift it. I guess my cab has arrived. It is time to leave I’ll see you all again. Thank you so much! Darn!! Not even a single muscular king among all!! (Over Walkie talkie) Someone named Rama is coming All the best bro See you soon bro… bye bro Who is this dude? Hey, Looks like he has not seen Sita, go tell him. Hindi mein tell or Bhol in English? Glass…. 2D glass… 3D glass!!! SITA!!! Come, my dear! If she is Sita, Who is she? Her friend Gita! This is cheating!! No. Its just your feeling!! *1950’s cinematic heart break* *Expressing displeasure – Side A* *Expressing displeasure – Side B* *Selfie time* Haan (Cabs on Surge) Heyy… you got your crown! At least the hutch puppy is happy… Who is happy here? I lost my chain. Show me where you hid it!

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