it is a gift! [humor] | the losers club


Who’s first? I’ll go! Sissies. What the fuck! Best feeling ever!
Yeah? Try tickling your pickle for the first time. Please don’t go girl! That’s the name of another New Kids on the Block… song… Is that how you wanna spend your Summer?
Inside of an Arcade? Beats spending it inside of your mother. Oh! Do you use the same bathroom as your mother? Sometimes, yeah. Then you probably have crabs. Do you want one from me too, Mrs. K? Aren’t you guys coming in? Uh uh, it’s greywater. What the hell is greywater? It’s basically piss and shit, so I’m just telling you. Doesn’t smell like caca to me señor. Okay, I can smell that from here. It’s probably just your breath wafting back into your face. Hey Eddie,
these are birth control pills? Yeah, and I’m saving it for your sister. You sure they got the right stuff to fix you up? What’s wrong with you? None of your business. There’s a kid outside,
looked like someone killed him. Bill had her back in 3rd grade. They kissed in the school play.
The reviews said you can’t fake that sort of passion! Or the woman I keep seeing. She hot? No Richie, she’s not hot! Holy shit, what happened to you? What’d she do? More like who’d she do.
From what I hear the list is longer than my wang. That’s not saying much. Wait, can only virgins see this stuff? Is that why I’m not seeing this shit. Derry started as a beaver trapping camp. Still is, am I right, boys? She’ll do you.
You just gotta ask nicely. Like I did. Rock war! I’m glad I got to meet you before you died. Richie, stay here. Woah woah woah, what if her dad comes back? Do what you always do!
Start talking. It is a gift! You think they’ll actually find her?
Sure, in a ditch all decomposed covered in worms and maggots smelling like Eddie’s mom’s underwear. Shut up, that’s frickin’ disgusting. I don’t like this. How do you think Betty feels?
Running around these tunnels with only one frickin’ shoe. Who wants to stay out here? I can’t believe I pulled the short straw.
You guys are lucky you’re not measuring dicks. Get in there, Dr. K, come on fix him up! Suck the wound, get in there! Do not fucking touch me! Wow.
What? He didn’t stutter once. It’s your fault. You punched me in the face.
You made me walk through shitty water.
You brought me to a fucking crackhead house. And now… I’m gonna have to kill this fucking clown. I know what I’m doing for my Summer experience essay. Jesus fuck. You know it’s all bullshit right? What is? Your medication.
They’re placebos. What’s placebo mean? Placebo means bullshit. You’re getting over your sickness, remember? My sickness?
Okay, what, what sickness, ma? You know what these are?
They’re gazebos! They’re bullshit! Go blow your dad, you mullet wearing asshole!

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