Hey, I’m William Osman and welcome to another episode of William Osman Today we’re gonna turn the game ‘Battleship’ into a boat. And to help me with it [unintelligible] my friend Morgan is here. We put subtitles on that? (Yes, yes we can -The Kittens) (Cameraman John thinks that they cant) We sort of invited ourselves to this competition… No, what is it? Well, that’s the problem is I actually have no idea what it is But our friend Tommy that we met at Battlebot says he does this naval world *Star Spangled Banner starts playing as William is talking* war II battleship reenactment And they shoot steel bb’s at each other and they’d both drive around a pond. *Music stops* Am I saying something funny? No, it just sounds like a great time. It is a great time *Music resumes* We’re gonna make a battleship. Now, because we’re uninvited and because we’re doofuses we’re gonna literally make a “Battleship” battleship *Inaudible irruption* No you’re a doofus Am I? Ok And you’re a doofus Hey were all doofuses here Is doofus a bad word? uuuuh I don’t think these are gonna float on their own… these are never gonna float I think the box would float better than that tho It probably would. I feel like it’s kinda plasticy sealed too. Right? *Laughing* Is that too stupid? Nooo
(yes) so should we just do that now? Should we find a steel bb gun? Yeeah lets go Yeah, I really want to do that. So let’s just totally scrap this for now CATMAN Right now we’re getting a BB gun, and we’re gonna go get something to seal the boat We should use FlexSeal William: FlexSeal
Morgan: Like in the commercial- William: FLEXSEAL: YOU CAN SEAL ANYTHING William: -like a machete hole you cut into a bucket If youve seen it on TV or in a JonTron video you know its good William: Clear? We’re going for clear?
Morgan: Yeah, William: feels like we should use the black one but
Morgan: that way you can — that way you can see the Morgan: No, you can see the battleship on the side William: All right clear it is I cant tell if its better to put my legs on this side or split them like this There is no good side We literally have to finish this today, and then wake up early tomorrow and drive a hundred miles. Let’s not take the truck tomorrow though. Okay, that’s a deal It’s very squeaky Yeah Also, where’s your… You have no turn signals? Oh wait you do but it’s broken. Yeah, it’s broken So I just use hand signals Does it work or do people just still have like they can’t see people over think you’re waving at them? Hiii WIlliam: Nice
Morgan: It’s a parking- Morgan: -parking brake They didn’t have a box for it with a display model when we were carrying around what looks like a completely real Handgun, and it’s not painted or anything. I don’t understand the rules. Like do you not have to paint it Orange? I don’t know
(you have to put an orange tip on it) I’m gonna paint it orange because that that’s uhhhh Hey William Hey Peter, we’re building a boat and we don’t have any propellers So we had propellers for pumpkin boat, but that stuff all burned down in my house oh god
OH GOD Like should we you think it’s better to use a paddle wheel? Ok see ya You will reach high levels of intelligence I kinda doubt that Hrrrrm push my I’ll take things we shouldn’t be playing with for $10 Gun what is gun? William: That was the answer.
Morgan: What? Things we shouldn’t be playing with for $10 and then John made this whole sequence like a Photoshop Jeopardy yeah that happened, right? So first of all, this thing is absolutely Terrifying it looks like a real gun And the first thing we need to do is make it not look like a real gun how to do that I don’t know come back to you in a bit. I feel a spray painting an orange is exactly what a criminal would do, right? Yeah, but I mean and we’re not criminals oh god how do guns work Does somebody else wanna try? We literally have started nothing! We have to wake up at like 5:00 in the morning! Yeah don’t point that, that is very bad gun safety Always keep your guns pointed at your cameraman. I don’t even I don’t even want to mess with this right now It’s it’s too realistic Okay, so we’ve got we’ve got some drill motors off a safety bot I don’t think safety bot’s ever going to walk again and we can use them to oh god Paddle each side of the boat you know what safety bot I honestly think that I’m just gonna throw you outside So Chelsea got us some spoons Wait, I wanna I just kinda wanted William: is that a bad idea? Just blast it. Morgan: Yeah, it kind of is cause you have to clean it up after I’m not gonna help you oh my god *Exaggerated Gulping* Morgan: Fear is a good substitute right?
William: *Still Gulping* *Gulping Continues* No? aww *Exaggerated Sipping* Morgan: Wow, he’s so thirsty.
William: *Burps* when was the last time you ate? We ate just now so my thinking is to put the paddle wheels between the Boxes still haven’t figured out how we’re going to actually attach them So you have a full stomach right now? Yeah Cause that makes you feel sick if you dont Whaa? Were Cause youre not ganna take it Unless i force you to right now Youre gonna forget it And then youre gonna get sick like ChEaLsEa YoU gOt Me SiCk Do drugs kids Drop out of school Wait, why dont we just glue em like this, heat it up and bend the plastic and then let it dry Winner winner chicken dinner.
It’s a brilliant idea. William: Good thinking Morgan.
Morgan: You’re welcome. You could probably just heat them up and twist them first, though. Do you want to do that? Do you want it like a A lighter? Probably. Do we have a torch did we buy a torch? I feel like I bought something flammable recently
Morgan: Oh wow, that’s – Morgan: -that’s very convenient. Do we want the minitorch? Oh, yeah, that’s what you do. Just like right about where the bending point is And yeah, just keep it right about there. I’d flip it over too. So it hits the outside No, I mean like thanks John like underneath like right there The same way? Yeaah All right. We’re trying to… did you fart. Yes Oh! *Laughing* Morgan! What? Dude, I said (inaudable) we’re trying to be productive making battleships and here you are farting up a storm Dude I thought we could like mustard gas them too What do you think? No, that’s illegal isn’t that like the Vienna sausage or Vienna I sound educated and well informed there are a lot of history majors that are really pissed off at you right now The drill motors will be like this with the paddle wheels off to the side The gun will be just right there this morning down a little bit. Yes Also, this stuff flex seal says it takes 40 hours to cure This seems like a last-minute emergency Fix like your boat is sinking and you’re trying to seal it up. Allow 24 to 48 hours to dry I don’t have a lot of confidence in this and that dudes grin makes me feel like I’m a sucker for spending $14 on a can of water stopping magic. Thanks Phil Swift. His name is Phil Swift, huh. And it’s probably faked, but… I feel not in the video. That’s basically a porn star name And that’s how William Osman died. To death by face-planting into a table saw. You feel safe? Good I don’t like table saws. I just don’t think you like saws which is a natural thing. It’s scary. You hear the noises it was making? Didn’t even cut all the way through but that’s okay because we don’t care because this boats gonna be the bottom of a pond tomorrow Why do you guys look at me like I’m insane? I’m not looking at you like you’re insane. I’m just listening intently Dang it Bobby Sometimes it’s a lot easier to just start doing things instead of planning it out too far in advance So you kind of like let the jank build up and you deal with it as you get to it As long as you didn’t really royally mess something up. I think this is one of the most effective strategies, like it’s better than just do… But not today So remember last time you were doing something like that you broke your goggles You’re over that John, don’t you People were mad at me in the comments. I bet they did. They were like ‘Will, that’s reckless’ and I was like Yeah, it was because…
You know what? They’re right
They were right? They were very right
But, uuh, why did I throw them on the ground? No, I think… Did I drop ’em? I think the first time they broke I dropped ’em and that was an accident and then I knew we were going to reprint them So I just threw him on the ground anyways And then you did reprint them anyways but you just And I just glued them and look, they’re still holding together I don’t know where they are, but they’re around here somewhere and I regret nothing What if we just like drill some holes in here and like wrap a zip tie around it? DUUUUUUUUUDE That’s actually… pretty… Is that thing making wind?
Of course it’s gonna make a wind Wow, that’s a lot of wind It looks pretty good and you can detach the paddles for ease of transportation What do we do now? Morgan’s gonna work on mounting the game and should i do the electronics? You can pull the servo off of Safety bot. Oh god this seems a little wrong. It’s like when you purposely kill someone to steal their organs Morgan have I ever introduced you to the wonderful world of waggle lever nuts? Yes. Oh I have? Yeah. Oh 🙁 Well, if you don’t know about the wonderful world of wiggle lever nuts not sponsored, but I will gladly accept your sponsorship Oh my god, they are amazing This will save you so much time you flick the little switch open shove the wire in and then you flick it down These are bought by Michael Reeves for me. Thank you, Michael You are saving me time even though you’re not here because if you were here you’d probably be not saving me time because yeah Well, I’m not blaming him. I just say that we sort of bring out, you know And you know when you know someone and you sort of bring something out of each other, I don’t wanna say the worst But you just become very yeah, you just sort of become silly and unproductive I don’t know how we ended up sounding like we’re insulting Michael But we went there I guy threw the knife at my leg and I’m definitely bleeding Are you ready to test the motors? I just got to turn them on and then All right Test complete Nothing works :): Man, that’s working too well
I think it needs to be jankier Dude, RC stuff is the greatest. You just like you buy off-the-shelf components and you’re jank just works like you do the rest of the jank but it’s like good jank you don’t saying it’s like a It’s like a oh Jeez what’s good Jank? What’s does anyone have a good example of good jank Yeah, so you can go forwards and it drives backwards with its single mix so basically forwards backwards left, right and then the switch post the servo which opposed a little lever arm and pulls the gun trigger Yesssss when we did pumpkin bot I was kind of stubborn to get an RC setup and I struggled you were driving on the way there and I was Writing I was trying to like look online for someone who wrote code to mix a single joystick into left like two wheel steering Basically RC stuff is pretty sweet. Let’s spray this thing down with some what’s it called again? FlexSeal FLEXSEAAAAAL Okay Oh my lord that’s plenty. Stop!
Morgan! *Now* it’s good Now what? Who needs a laser cutter who needs a 3D printer when you have zip ties? Good morning and Welcome to the lake. We’re apparently breaking all the rules. Tommy, how many rules are we breaking? Hopefully all of them and a couple more Also, we’re covering up our weapon with a towel What the hell? This whole boat is made out of a game of battleship We got to figure out too if we’re actually gonna be able to compete I thought this was sort of just some guys with a hobby but it’s like an organized, structured event. Yeah I Blame you for not providing… I had idea what we were getting ourselves into Well now you know William: Who do we need to talk to? Tommy: Brian, he’s coming. He’s coming? Ok Alright, well, we talked to the park ranger, and we called the police and no one really had any strong sentiment against it but in the end decided that it’s probably not a good idea to have something that looked too much like a real gun in the park for I don’t know I’m actually surprised that no one immediately said no, we’re gonna you know do the best we can Our motto is just show up and try to do it and Not be too much of a nuisance cuz I don’t wanna get you guys some trouble but a lot of times it’s easier than Jess All right, you got your parrot how did you get the cleanest pair of sexy glasses? I don’t look with languages under my goggles I’m gonna wear a sip. Oh, wow. These are crusty Oh, how’d you get those? Yes, these are like old man woodworking goggles Tommy are you ready for battle are you having technical difficulties That’s very bad Oh No zip ties zip ties That’s embarrassing. They literally ripped up at the same time I thought the chucks loosened and they prized dog, but no it was significantly more permanent than that Why didn’t we just start with zip ties? We shouldn’t used screws Why do we always take shortcuts because you insist on nothing but shortcuts feels good, man All right, you ready yeah dude stick it in I’ll go too fast there hot rod it likes to dig in The cardboard getting wet we’re Seal it It just feels like it’s art. Oh, I think it was already kind of So what’s the inside of your boat looked like This is the coolest part the bee bees fill up in these copper tubes and are shoved up into the cannon I don’t quite understand how that works there’s a piston in here which is a BB up it blocks off the the rest of the bb’s from going in and there’s an O-ring that has some compression on it. So the BB gets stuck behind there and took pressure builds up until totally shoves it up and it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s shoot till you disengage the switch in which case the Solenoid stops firing and then the gas stops going there and then the spring inside pushes the piston back It seems like really finicky though the BB loading system. It is very finicky That was like my one question was how did they do the B because he just said there were pneumatic bb’s And maybe we came to different solutions mine more out slightly more elegant Yeah It’s really hot You’re nasty. So what you got a RC boat to play with something that works a little bit better than battleship battleship It works won the pistol shoots way too high psi. So we would like destroy the boat We still want something to shoot at but we also can’t really shoot here Well, we I mean, I don’t wanna get these guys in trouble So we’re gonna wait till they leave and then we’ll go do our things Here’s some warranty that I don’t think it’s gonna cover the boat getting blown to pieces Very sweet job No one standing in front it Do just want to test-fire it yeah It’s what you have to put all the way what do you do today William? Oh And I just was using a hacksaw on the trigger mechanism of my freaking gunboat Did that work Dude The good news is we have hot dogs But the bad news is we could not get the BB gun to work. We never tested it We just kind of put it together It seemed like it worked and we were gonna run with it and we did and then it totally failed and we spent a bunch Of time trying to do it and it’s really uncomfortable cuz you’re sitting here with what looks like an actual gun I’m really frustrated right now That was difficult We’re not gonna let it defeat us aiding the persevere Oh Kiki Oh God Oh, we’ll try and do it again you find another body of water It’ll go